I am in this stage where I just do not care anymore. I have grown accustomed to just the “whatever” that has been going on in my life. I mean, how I can explain it would be, before everything was a big drama, now it’s like… fuck it. I really could not care less.
My daughter has not received her pension, and normally I would be on her father’s ass and more now that its Christmas and I just take it mad easy.
I always want to be in love, and I have a little friend and he is adorable with me but, it is what it is and you know what? Fuck him too
.
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I was on a soul search and I stopped analyzing my thoughts, I have been calm and just letting things go with the flow but I think that not giving a fuck is not very spiritual.
I had also become a vegetarian, what happen a couple of months into it all I finished eating was bread and water, not cool and I started eating meat again.
Looking at all thing things at once, just makes a big mess in my head that I don’t want to look at and really don’t I just put it on the back burner and say fuck it, it will pass. In addition, maybe that is cool but at the same time, my back burner is stacking up and making a shadow over my head and I can feel it presents.
So what to do?
DEFFECT: I lost focus of the matter at hand. That peace I wanted is not this I just got comfortable.
TASK: get back the peace I had found, maybe start with some yoga.
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