dont let anything affect you, you are the most important person

“We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so we can live today.”

Yes, this is exactly what I want to do I have no Idea where to start.

What has been going on with me lately is that I have been going through a mini crisis.
Emotional it’s been happening for about 3 days,and all I have been wanting to do is hurt my self, I feel like cutting myself and burning my skin. I really don’t feel emotionally stable it’s been a rollercoaster of feelings, one minute I am laughing another minute I am wanting to commit suicide or just nick at my skin fiscally hurt myself.

I have been praying a lot all I want to do is shake it off, but I have also put into consideration that maybe it’s just bottled up emotions that I haven’t gotten out.

I have one problem, I am mad and I cannot stand anyone and not even myself. I have to get things off my chest, I have to be alone and stop looking for things to get my mind off my shit, and look at them in the face. Where do I start? Do I even have the balls to do so? I have to do this urgently if I want to get over this hill.

This morning my father confronted me in a manner like he wanted to fight, he got up in my face and I hadn’t really done anything to him I was on my way out to go to school, what did I do? I said I was sorry. Mind you, I had done nothing but walk away from the situation. He was just looking for a fight, the one I did not want to have. In addition, when I got in the car all I wanted to do was die. I almost didn’t get to school, I was either going to commit suicide or stick a needle in my arm. The things that happen between my father and me always affect me and it brings my bitch out you know? However, I am different now and I have to practice this new way of life.

God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change courage to change the things I can and knowledge to know the difference.

God come to me and give me peace, I thank you for all I have, please do not let me mess this all up over stupidity. I love you because even though I don’t see you I know you hear me and even though sometimes I don’t feel you there I still wait for you, thank you for letting me express myself as I have to to get through the day and understanding me when no one else does.

DEFFECT:  Self-inflicting pain looking for an escape, no confront.

TASK: make a list of things that are causing me harm, look at what I am doing wrong, just for today focus on getting better and forget about everything else God is in control.  I do not have to be controlled by my past.  I will live this new day as the new person I am becoming.