Amazing

Its amazing the way that my mind can just toy with me, I can't believe the worthless I feel or at least the way I'm made feel, just as I said the other day, most likely its all in my head, this low self esteam and this hatred and disgust to myself, I'm so sorry... Its all in my head I'm sorry for everyone I've hurt, forgive me and my wild behaviors. I need help. I've lost today...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Rich

anything?

Most of the time, i think that everything is made bigger then what it really is. Is it all bull shit? i don't know, I'm tired of having all this goddamn drama maybe and most likely I'm making shit up in my head...
what the hell do i really care about anything? do i really care? am i really scared or are these emotions only to entertain me and my sick ass behavior. I most likely am just making a movie in my head. living out something that impacted me and I found interesting and not really giving a shit about it in the first place. maybe its that i have had a quiet day, maybe its that i have been seeing lately that everything i want i can have so why even sweat it... and what i mean by that is, all i really have to do is make a decision on something and act on my decision and the fucked up thing is that i put my own obstacles in my way. as i said, its all in my head. the insecurities are bull shit whatever is going to happen is gonna happen you either make it or not. its all in my head, jmmm... thats kinda cool.

Fear

Talking of the concept of fear

What is fear?

Fear is a distressing emotion induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger and flee from it or confront it, also known as the Fight or Flight response. Some psychologists such as John B. Watson, Robert Plutchik, and Paul Ekman have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic or innate emotions. This set also includes such emotions as joy, sadness, and anger. Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.^[1] Worth noting is that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear could also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.

Okay, know that we have our definition of fear how can I start this investigation of self search or self creation?

What I am scared of:

1.     Myself

2.     My actions

3.     My words

4.     My mind

5.     Failing

6.     Success

How do I get over these fears when I am what I fear?

To be continued…